Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sad but Optimistic

These couple of days was (honestly speaking) depressing.  Trapped in a house for a week due to bad weather and flooding.  Like I said in a previous post, I feel like Rapunzel in my own tower.  Life is tough, I've always known that.  Actually my life is a lot better compared to others but it feels like it's a consolation.  I have things that I would like to do but don't know how to do it.  I guess this is what incomplete feels like.  When you feel incomplete, you also feel frustrated.  When you feel frustrated, you feel trapped.  Many times I read or watch a video about a person beating the odds, sacrificed a lot to do what they want to do and be successful about it.  They probably entered this phase I'm in now.  Oh God, let it be a PHASE.  Let me pass this phase and move on a better phase.

I resigned from my job last March for multiple reasons.  My chat friend thinks I'm crazy for doing it.  I know I am but still.  I could probably state a hundred reasons for resigning and most people would still think I'm crazy for resigning.  They all say the same thing, you should be practical.  If your body is physically telling you how much it hated your job, would you listen?  I was miserable with my last job.  I fell unfulfilled, it had no meaning and I was sick all the time.  The only job that I really loved doing was when I was a communication assistant for an IPRelay company until my body couldn't take the shifting schedule.  The graveyard shift did a number on my health and I was forced to resign since they would not give me a morning schedule even when I presented a doctor's note explaining why the night shift is deteriorating my health.  I didn't want to go but I had to go.

Right now, I'm still figuring out how to attain the things I'd like to do.  Bless my boyfriend, I love him so much.  He's been very supportive and understanding.  Without him, I would have probably broken down months ago.  I just need to figure out what I'm supposed to do.  I know I can.  If others can, I can.  

I know I'll figure it out.  Mumbling and rumbling again but it can be a good thing.


I'm still decided to lose weight and even though the weather tried to dampen my spirits, I have not forgotten. Now that the floods are gone and the weather's better, I start running on Monday!  I can't do it tomorrow because I'll be using tomorrow and onward to clean the house and outside the house.  My goal for the rest of the week?  Clean and fix.  My goal for next week, JOGGING!

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