Toto, Uncle Ago and Tin

My bf's brother died yesterday, November 1 at almost midnight.  He hanged himself with a rope tied to the ceiling of their bathroom.  On the same day but in the afternoon, his uncle, who used to take care of him during high school died of heart complications.  A week ago, his cousin who is very close to him, died of sickness.  I'm not really sure what kind of sickness.  I cannot describe to you how devastated he feels and I don't know how to console him but I'm trying as hard as I can.

A Woman's Woes

It's 1:40 am as I type this.  Lately, I've been pondering about our future.  A couple of days ago was our 8th year anniversary.  Yay right?  

I've always wanted to get married and have kids.  I denied it when I was in my mid 20s but deep inside me I always knew.  It's painful for me to say it but I don't think we'll ever have kids.  I don't even think he wants to marry me.  We had the discussion but it was always me who initiates it and all throughout, he was very uncomfortable.  I'm a sensitive person and I don't want to be but it's just me.  

Eight years ago, he told me he would marry me in 3 years.  I laughed at the idea because I never thought we would last this long.  Now I think about and wonder why we're still not married.

I'm tired of waiting but I don't know what to do next.

iMop 360 Tsunami Spin

I bought an iMop for 675.  It used to be 1499.75.  I know it's geeky to be expressing such happiness over a cleaning tool but this makes me HAPPY!

Get Rid of Roaches

I was very thankful when the flood finally subsided and we were able to clean the house but a new problem arose that needed dealing with.  I've seen a few roaches scampering about my kitchen sink and that totally freaked me out.  I knew something must be done to avoid a bigger infestation.  Chemical sprays were out of the question and like everybody else, I searched online for a natural way of pest control.  My search has landed me here.  It said I will only need 2 ingredients, borax and sugar.  Mix together and put container in the place you see them crawling about.  Seems easy but I don't have borax at hand and I didn't feel like buying a new box of borax.  I asked a chemist friend what would be an alternative for borax and what do you know, he said I can use chalk or the blue cube that you rub on the ends of pool sticks.  I chose the chalk, easier and cheaper to get.  After that, I started making my own batch of roach food killer recipe.

I used these materials:

1. A container, in this case a McD ketchup dish because I like to reuse stuff.
2. Chalk, I used 2 different chalks. A plain one and a Baygon chalk roach and ant killer.  I was trying to find out which one would be more effective.  I could have used the baygon chalk by itself but I didn't like the idea of inhaling chalk powder while I scribble it on the wall.  Also because it's unsightly. The first batch which I used on the first day was plain chalk.  The next batches with baygon chalk.
3. Sugar or anything sweet. I used my expired pancake syrup for this.  At least I found a use for my expired syrup.

Next step:

1. Need to make my chalk powdery and a hammer did the job.
2. Add sugar or in my case, syrup to the dish. Just enough to cover the powder then stir until the chalk dissolves.
3. I left my batch in the kitchen sink.

 

The next day, I went straight to the kitchen to see if it worked and it did.  I know it's gross but I wanted to show you that it worked so I took a picture.  If you click at the left picture, you'll see that it even attracted some ants.  The website was right.  It said that the sugar is what attracts them and the borax is what kills them.

I did mention that I tried a plain chalk and a baygon chalk. The baygon chalk was far more effective. The plain chalk works too but the other provided a faster result.  But if I were to choose, I prefer using the plain chalk for health reason.  It just so happen I have leftover baygon chalk to use for this. 

I was told by  my chemist friend to continue serving the roach food killer for 2 to 4 weeks to make sure I get them all.  I've been doing this since Sunday and everyday since then, I'd be sweeping a few dead roaches in the morning.  This morning I notice the roaches are a lot smaller (younger?).  Could it be I'm close to getting rid of them all?  Oh well, I'll keep doing this for a month just to be sure.

BFF Visit Part 2 (the furry kind)

Meet Tam-Tam.  He is Gail's furry baby and her favorite.  She's got 2 furry babies.  He wasn't really fond of me taking a snapshot of him.  He bolts every time I aim the digicam towards him.  I really had to be quick taking this pic so the angle wasn't what I wanted.

Now this is Cookie.  They named him that because he simply couldn't get enough of cookies when he was a wee little pup.  He is Leo's (Gail's hubby) favorite and mine too.  I don't know why Cookie is my fave but I'm really sure I'm his fave too.  He snuggles next to me every time I visit.  See how adorable he is with one ear in the air and the other one flapped down to the side of his head?  It didn't used to be like that.  He had an ear infection.  It was so bad it swelled to the size of a tennis ball overnight.  Gail didn't know cookie scratched his ear too much that it became raw.  The vet said surgery was needed and after that, Cookie lost control of the muscles in his ear so it only stays down even when he's excited.  That was a year ago.  I remember because Gail was so upset and she was crying when she told me.  Cookie was so sick.  Aside from the ear infection, he was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection.

Both dogs are all grown up now and old.  Actually, if we convert their ages to humans, they'd be seniors now.  They are brothers, both 12 years old.  You can also tell that they're old.  a couple of years ago, they'd be running around the house all the time.  They would also play with me and any kind of sock.  Socks are their favorite play thing.  And they love jumping.  Tam-Tam can jump the highest especially when he wants to pee outside.  But now, most of their time was spent lying on the floor or on the bed.  They seem to be tired all the time.  They get up when they hear people outside or when it's feeding time.  

This is also one reason why Gail and I are friends.  We're both pet lovers.  We don't get bored talking about our pets. We both treat them like families... because they are :)

BFF Visit

I've been staying at Gail's place since Tuesday.  I finally came out to visit her.  Bummer that she has work but she managed to get Tuesday and Thursday off.  It's funny, we never ran out of stuff to talk about.  We always end up sleeping at 3 am because we'd be talking and talking.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find someone like her again.  We really get along so well.  My sisters have many friends.  I only have a handful and only one best friend, Gail.  I just wish that she would live closer to me.  She's always moving thanks to her and her hubby's job.  

Anyway, I'm getting the most out of this trip.  I took a picture of her new home and everything inside it but the picture above is my fave.  She already uploaded the photos in her FB but I plan to take more pictures later.  Hoping to upload more photos here.

Live Traffic Feed

It's funny for me that I installed a live traffic feed in my blog when I don't really attract that much visitor.  The few people that visit my blog I'd like to say thank you very much for taking the time.  I'm not really expecting to have a lot of visitor.  When I started this blog, I have no major goals than just to have my own place in the web where I can say what I want to say about anything and nothing and be completely incognito.  But for the few people that stumble upon my piece of web space, I'd like to know where they are from :)

Anyway, if you want to have one of your own, it's really really easy to install.  just check out the right side of my blog and scroll down till you see my live traffic feed widget.  You'll see a link there that says "Get Feedjit Now".  Click on it and it will redirect you to the website.  Follow the instruction there and you'll have your very own live traffic feed.  I assure you, it's really very easy.

Sad but Optimistic

These couple of days was (honestly speaking) depressing.  Trapped in a house for a week due to bad weather and flooding.  Like I said in a previous post, I feel like Rapunzel in my own tower.  Life is tough, I've always known that.  Actually my life is a lot better compared to others but it feels like it's a consolation.  I have things that I would like to do but don't know how to do it.  I guess this is what incomplete feels like.  When you feel incomplete, you also feel frustrated.  When you feel frustrated, you feel trapped.  Many times I read or watch a video about a person beating the odds, sacrificed a lot to do what they want to do and be successful about it.  They probably entered this phase I'm in now.  Oh God, let it be a PHASE.  Let me pass this phase and move on a better phase.

I resigned from my job last March for multiple reasons.  My chat friend thinks I'm crazy for doing it.  I know I am but still.  I could probably state a hundred reasons for resigning and most people would still think I'm crazy for resigning.  They all say the same thing, you should be practical.  If your body is physically telling you how much it hated your job, would you listen?  I was miserable with my last job.  I fell unfulfilled, it had no meaning and I was sick all the time.  The only job that I really loved doing was when I was a communication assistant for an IPRelay company until my body couldn't take the shifting schedule.  The graveyard shift did a number on my health and I was forced to resign since they would not give me a morning schedule even when I presented a doctor's note explaining why the night shift is deteriorating my health.  I didn't want to go but I had to go.

Right now, I'm still figuring out how to attain the things I'd like to do.  Bless my boyfriend, I love him so much.  He's been very supportive and understanding.  Without him, I would have probably broken down months ago.  I just need to figure out what I'm supposed to do.  I know I can.  If others can, I can.  

I know I'll figure it out.  Mumbling and rumbling again but it can be a good thing.

PS

I'm still decided to lose weight and even though the weather tried to dampen my spirits, I have not forgotten. Now that the floods are gone and the weather's better, I start running on Monday!  I can't do it tomorrow because I'll be using tomorrow and onward to clean the house and outside the house.  My goal for the rest of the week?  Clean and fix.  My goal for next week, JOGGING!

Basking in the Sun

First ray of sunshine and the cat's already basking in it.  Apparently, he took my piece of paper and I thought I misplaced it. Bad Cat!

Gail's SMS Request

I don't want to lose this:

From Gail [8/14/2012   16:22]:

(my name) pls nclude dad in ur prayer.he is now confined at d hospital in london due to hemorrhage cause by stroke,hi blood pressure.  Half of his body is paralyzed.  Onel is in bataan,this is such a difficult time for me,for us.  I hope i could see you.

 My reply:

You and your family are always in my prayers. I'd  like to see you too but I don't think it'd be sooner.  I should let the typhoon pass first.  I'll talk to (bf) when he gets home tonight.  Don't worry too much.  I believe your dad is in very capable hands.  I'll see you as soon as I can.

Gail was with me when my dad was dying in the hospital.  It breaks my heart that I can't just leave everything behind and rush to her.  I can't leave without telling bf, he doesn't have his cellphone with him and our city is in typhoon signal number 1.  I don't think it'd be safe for me to travel in bad weather especially since our area is still flooded. 

Dragonfly

I took a shot of this with my nikon coolpix L22.  I have grills on my window.  I was happy to see this little thing cause I rarely see them anymore.  I was also sad because the last time I saw a dragonfly, it was resting on a leaf. I hope when I start my garden, I'd see a lot of this winged insect.

PM and KN and the Monsoon

Today was supposed to be KN's son's christening.  Thanks to the weather, it was postponed.  I have not received news from him.  His location was one hardest hit by floods but I'm sure he is alright.  His sister informed me.

I'm so restless in my little castle.  I can't go out and do stuff.  Thank God for electricity or I'd go insane. I'm so upset that I even told my bf about it.  He reminded me that I am lucky enough to have a house to stay and food to eat when so many other families have moved to evacuation centers.  I felt a little guilty as I know how horrible conditions are in evacuation centers.  No privacy, no space, no clean bathrooms and sometimes no power or food.  

I know I was being selfish but I had my heart set on going to my friends' sons' christenings.  I don't go out much but the few times I do, I try to make the most out of it.  After-all, I've been missing my friends a lot since I resigned in March.

The flood water has gone down a little.  I talked to an operator working on the pumps told me that it might take longer than expected to pump out all the flood water.  He said the rivers are already in spill capacity and they unsure where to dump the flood waters collected.  It was nice of the operator to tell me the truth rather than lying to make me feel better.

My bf occasionally goes out to check and fix stuff outside the house.  Most of my day is spent alone, well not totally alone.  I do have my cat with me but he's not as cheerful as last week.  I've noticed that he's been irritable the last couple of days.  He doesn't let me hold him for long, he won't come to me when I call him and at one point, he almost scratched my hand when I tried to pet him.  I think he's frustrated as much as I am.  

I'm still praying that everything will go back to normal even though the weather bureau stated a new typhoon is approaching.  

Monsoon Hitting Hard

This was taken by my sisters last Tuesday.  It has been raining so hard the past few days and resulted to flood all over the country including where I live.  What's really surprising about this is that there is no storm, just a monsoon.  It's the first time I've ever experienced flooding in a monsoon.  It was even more damaging than Storm Jener.  Major cities and provinces are now in state of calamity.  Fortunately, in our part, electricity  and water was not shut down.  

By my bf's request, I am not to have any part of me in the flood to avoid accident or catch any sickness especially leptopirosis.  Though I understand his worries, I feel like I'm Rapunzel trapped in my tower.  

The flood in our neighborhood have subsided a little but the water is turning darker and stinkier.  It's surprising to see small fishes still swimming around.  I would have taken some pictures but the flood water grosses me out.

I'm still crossing my fingers that the flood would be gone by Monday and it might happen.  Bf tells me our mayor is having the flood water siphoned.   That's something to look forward to ❀

UPS Fraudulent Email Circulating

I've been receiving UPS emails for the past days now.  It's telling me that I'm supposed to receive a package within 5 days.   I was a little skeptical since there was a zip attachment.  I have received packages in the past but not from UPS so I decided to check the tracking number from the UPS site.  No surprise, no such tracking number exist.  Further research revealed that the attachment is a virus.  Below is a screenshot of the email I received.

If you received the same email just please do not open the attachment or better yet, delete the email.  If you want to read more about it, click the ups link: 

http://www.ups.com/content/us/en/about/news/service_updates/20110330_fraud.html

A Hanging Veggie Basket

A small apartment can really make you creative.  I'm always looking for space where I can keep our things.  Hence, organizing is such a need.  Buying cabinets would be the easiest thing to do but since I decided to resign from my job, it's not exactly the easiest thing for me to do.  Like now, I need a place to put my veggies.  I wanted it in a place where I can easily see it and within reach.  That's when I decided to make a hanging veggie basket.

So here's a picture of what I'm going to need.  Of course 3 baskets, it cost Php 15 each.  I'm actually upset with the price cause there's a store that sells it for Php 10 only but the store wasn't open when I got there.  Utility knife or scissors, A ruler and my leftover strings.  See!  I get to use my leftover strings.

Just cut 4 pieces of string long enough for the 3 baskets.  Then tie them on 4 points of your basket.

I inserted a plastic box in between the baskets so I'd get the correct length for the strings before tying them together.  Just continue tying till you get all 3 baskets connected.

And then I tied all the ends of the strings together, attach them to the S shaped hook and hang them on the bar on top of my kitchen sink.  It's not going to hold all my veggies.  It's mainly onions, garlic, tomatoes, ginger, calamansi and other small veggies that I regularly use for cooking.  All in all, I only spent Php 45 for the baskets.  It's actually less than a dollar (US$1 = Php 47).  The other materials I used I already have.

Folding Plastic Bags

Got this idea from this blog.  Lettie's way of folding plastic bags is really really great and easy to follow.  I folded and unfolded and refolded one.  Look see:

 

    

 I have folded 100+ plastic bags so far.

Reusing KFC Plastic Cup (for the mashed potatoes)

Boyfriend driving me insane over the weekend.  He is good with fixing stuff but not so good with organizing.  After he fixes stuff, I am left with the mess.  Actually, he cleans after but he doesn't have a proper place for his things.  When he needs like say this size of screw, he couldn't find it and asks me to help look.  That in turn drives me crazy.  We have a small apartment so space is very limited.  I have to be creative with the containers.  The small things like screws, hooks, tacks and even rubber bands is what he's always looking for.  I dug into my storage and found these little cups.

Yeah, I love take outs, especially when I was working.  Mashed potatoes and coleslaw is my favorite but enough about that because I'm having this evil thought of eating at KFC!

The good thing is they are transparent and can be stacked on top of each other, it'd be easier to see the content.  Can't wait to show him this when he gets home later.

What Is It With Cats and Attention?

I was organizing the books I found from the apartment when my cat just decided to jump on the table demanding for a petting.  It's like he wants me to acknowledge his presence when ever he wants.  It took a while to convince him to stop jumping on the table.  He is such a stubborn kitty cat.

I was sorting out the books and was sad to find out that most of it are ruined.  I was hoping to salvage some for donation.  I'm still not done sorting.

Hearts

Rummaging through the leftovers of our demolished apartment, I found another memory.  It was a college book I bought in 1993.  The other side of the front cover held a double heart shaped sticker.  I know it's corny or in my language "baduy" but bear in mind that I was 16 at the time.  And as most college students are, penniless.  Not able to afford an expensive gift, I aimed for his sweet tooth.  It was a heart shaped box that held 9 pieces of assorted munchkin.  The top of the box held the double heart shaped sticker.  I remember peeling it off and sticking it to my book so to remember the first valentines we had together. 

Oh Michael, you were my first legal boyfriend.  I state LEGAL because he is the first boyfriend my dad knew.  He was also the first to break my heart.  I'm so glad it's all a memory.  I'm very happy with what I have now.  

I Never Tried Planting Before

I've always admired my nana for having a green thumb but in fairness, she used to be a farmer.  She had this backyard filled with plants and trees.  I look outside my apartment and see nothing but a concrete wall and a concrete floor and I really would like to change that.  I'd like to add some green to it and maybe someday add some color to it.  So today, I bought some seeds.

I bought Rosemary, Leaf type lettuce, and Basil.  I really have no idea which plant to buy and these are the only ones I recognize in the store.  Plus, I can plant them first in little pots.  I probably won't use pots and find some sort of container from my storage.  Also, I think my boyfriend would love these.  You know what, he is really the cook in our house.  I'm really not good at cooking but I hope to change that someday.  

I'm still waiting for the weather to clear up.  Apparently, even though Storm Hener has not left the country, a new storm is coming.  Crossing my fingers that it wouldn't be as damaging as Hener.

Cat Looking Down at Me

First, he ignores me

and then, he looks down at me.  I love him so much. I so hate the blue wall.

Storm Me Away

I intended to attend PM's son's christening but the weather wasn't cooperating and a storm decided to stop by.  It's been raining since Saturday and Sunday last night we had a black out.  We had power back today at noon.  I really wanted to go but even if we went ahead and ignore the heavy rains it wouldn't be possible.  My bf had a temp Sunday morning.  Saturday night was raining hard and flooded the area where he works.  The flood was up to his chest.  I don't know why he walked home that night.  All he said was that he wanted to come home.  The next morning, he had a 39C temp.  He's getting better now.  He can breathe through his nose again.  Anyway, I'm waiting for the weather to be ok again so I can give PM's son's gift.  I also can't wait to start jogging.

Cat Sleeping

My niece and nephew are starting to call him Garfield because he's kinda getting fat.

Old Puzzle Mats Turned as Trash Bins

  

Going over the contents of the demolished apartment, I chanced upon a few puzzle mats that my niece and nephew used to enjoy playing with.  There used to be 40 or so pieces when they were 3 and 2 years old.  As always, I felt bad throwing them away: First because they are in good shape and second because they are made of rubber therefor non biodegradable.  I couldn't use them as mats because there were only a few left.  I played with them for a while until I decided to connect them into triangles.

Easy eh?

Then I just place a plastic bag inside.  I have loads of plastic bags hidden in storage that I have no idea what to use for.  I guess you can make a square but my plastic bags can only fit in a triangle.  I made 4 triangles for paper, plastic, cans and dust.  I like sweeping the floor. 

Cat Killed a Rat

I was folding clothes when it happened.  The door was open.  I was looking at the cat when he just ran out the door. There was a scuffle, I heard the cat's meow and some squeaking.  He had the rat by its neck still squeaking.  In some way it got away from the cat's bite and ran to my folded clothes.  Cat jumped into the clothes and everything was a mess.  After a few minutes, it was over.  The rat was dead.  That's when I realized I was screaming the whole time while standing on a chair.

My bf buried the rat and I was left staring at the cat in a whole new different way.  Sometimes I forget that my sweet 2 year old cat is also a predator.

Busy as a Bee

My dad built a few small apartments when he was alive.  The one that I'm living in right now is one of them.  I don't live for free, I pay rent.  The rent is used for the apartment's maintenance, insurance and other apartment related needs.  Also, it helps me not to be dependent (meaning lazy).  Meaning it forces me to work for a living.  Bless my dad's soul but he does not know anything about construction.  A few years ago, one apartment became vacant and we didn't feel like renting it again so it became like a storage for me and my sisters old stuff.  It was a good thing too.  Me and my boyfriend decided to clean and organize the vacant apartment because it was driving me crazy.  That's when we spotted so many problems.  The one in particular was the big crack on the wall.  It wasn't actually a crack but there was a big line from ceiling to floor.  That's when we decided to ask a professional.

This is the reason why I love my boyfriend so much.  He's a real handyman.  He sees the problems in the house, knows what to do to it, knows who to contact and knows where he can find a bargain for the materials needed.  The professional we talked to inspected the apartment and came back half an hour later.  He was really amazed at how the whole apartment was still standing upright.  He basically told us that the whole apartment was very unsafe and should be demolished.  At first I was doubtful and then he pointed out all the mistakes the previous contractor made.  My dad was never Mr. Fix It.  In fact, he'd surely choose the cheapest product over quality.

The day before the demolition, I was feeling a bit sad.  It's the sentimental side in me.  The whole structure was built even before I was born.  I just can't believe we have to tore it down.  My bf sensing my grief told  me there's nothing to feel bad about it.  He said it was basically a dust magnet.  That sort of lifted my spirits.  The untidiness was actually driving me insane.  So I tried hardest to forget the negative and focus on the positive. No more dust, more space.  I could put potted plants, a place to dine al fresco (did I use that term correctly?), a play place for my niece and nephew.  That did it.  I got excited.  

The whole apartment was basically a trip down to memory lane. It held all our old stuff.  The saddest part about it was that most of memories had to be thrown away.  I didn't know the roof leaked each time it rained.  A lot of my school books, old notes and pictures were damage. The last couple of days were used to sorting out the good ones from the bad ones.  I'm still not finished.   Also, I have no idea where to put the stuff in.  I'll find a way.

my sister would have loved to help but since I am the only one unemployed, my weekdays are now reserve for sorting and cleaning.  They will help me on the weekend.

You know, I can't believe I have never taken a picture of the apartment before the demolition.  I guess I was too sad to even think of it.  No worries though, I know better things are coming up our way.

I am Determined to go Jogging

We were watching a kickboxing match on TV last night.  Two females were fighting.  Instantly, we both got interested, me because she's got the body I want, him because she was really pretty.  It's funny really, I don't get jealous learning when he finds another lady pretty but him feeling uneasy when I call other guys cute.  I guess I'm in a state where in things like that doesn't bother me anymore.

Going back, I guess I have no idea how long the bout took but my eyes were stuck admiring her body.  She wasn't voluptuous, seducing, etc but she was a bit curvy and with firm muscle tones.  I like it that her body looked good and healthy at the same time.  Sure as is, we never really looked at the scores but the referee said it was a draw.

I was absorbed with her. I turned to my boyfriend and told him I want the same body. I want to look healthy.  He frowned a little.  It's not the kind of support you were expecting from your bf of 7 years but he has a right to react that way.  I mean, I'm like any other person who tried a couple of diet and exercise and failed miserably.  And heaven knows how many times he supported me and I just let him down.  Ignoring his reaction, I told him I'd like to be as fit as her.  Sensing that I wasn't really going to let go of it, he turned serious.  FYI, my bf is a muay thai instructor.  He's been teaching it for 3 years now and prior to that has been teaching martial arts (will not say what kind but he is a first dan blackbelter) for more than 5 years.  He told me he would only help me if I start jogging at 5 am everyday.  I think he is trying to see how committed I am to this goal but I guess he has a point.  I've been lazy for quite some time that I need to build up my stamina.  I said OK and proceeded to mentally get me ready for what's supposed to be my first day of jogging but alas, I woke up this morning to the skies drizzling.  He was up before me and he sort of laugh a little.  He said: "I forgot to tell you, weather report says A STORM'S A BREWING".

BLEH!!!

Ok, so I did check the news and we are going to have a bad weather for a couple of days.  I explained to myself, minor set back, go jogging when the heavens clear up.  I WILL! I WILL!

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On other news, I'm trying to limit my food intake.  I'm an over eater to be honest.  I can finish 5 cups of rice in 1 sitting and sometimes even more and because of this I am overweight.  I am now scared of getting diabetes since I know a lot of friends who have it.  I'm 5 feet 4 inches and for 70 kilograms I am overweight.

Yesterday, I tried to lessen my rice intake.  And to be honest, cutting down on rice is an effort. No I take that back, IT'S REALLY TORTURE, for me that is.  I had about a cup of rice total for the whole of yesterday.  I was like an effing addict having withdrawals.  I was hungry all the time.  Food was all I could think about.  I compensated by eating small amounts of food but many times a day.  I had chicken with sotanghon.  I ate a small chunk of chicken about the size of my thumb and slurped 3 spoon full of its soup.  It would alleviate the hunger for about half an hour and when I felt hungry again I'd eat the same amount of chicken and soup then wash it down with lots of water.  Being able to do that was awesome and I was a little proud of myself.  I thought this will be easier than I expected then at almost midnight, I was proven wrong.  I woke really really hungry.  Can you believe that?  To wake up because  your tummy is literally growling in hunger?  I tried to sleep again but I couldn't so I decided to drink water but alas my tummy will not let me so I gave in and ate a cup of rice with the soup from the chicken sotanghon.  That's the only rice I had for yesterday.  Feeling guilty, I tried burning the calories with cleaning the windows, wiping everything in the house and sweeping the floor.  When I felt I had a decent amount of sweat expelled, I took a quick shower then went back to bed.  My boyfriend woke me up to ask if I was sleep cleaning again.  I said YES. HEH!

Anyways, Yesterday was an interesting day.  I just would like to say I am determined to lose weight!

Self Esteem and Acne

I know, many people have talked about their acne problems but this is my blog so I'll talk about it some more.   Acne and self esteem goes hand by hand.  Some people may disagree but this is based on my personal experience.  The more severe your acne is the lower your self esteem is.  I started having acne when I was 13.  My mom would describe me as introvert / shy type / loner.  What she doesn't know is that there's a reason why I'm like that.  It's the embarrassment of knowing that I have a lot of icky things covering my face.  I remember enduring a lot of hurtful jokes about it.  I've been called a pizza face for a greater part of my teenage life.  Teenagers, especially those age 13, are not so sensitive to people with this kind of issue.  They can also be creative with the name calling.  Aside from pizza face I was called sandpaper face, the pimple that grew a face, spikes and a lot of other things.  Before you go saying, don't be dramatic it's just a pimple let me just shut you up.  First of all, it's not A pimple, it's PIMPLES.  Acne vulgaris, google it if you must.  If you already have, you're probably traumatized by the mere pictures alone.

The first few taunts, I let go thinking that the hurtful jokes would not last that long.  When it didn't stop, I would usually just cry.  When it felt unbearable, I asked my dad to bring me to a dermatologist.  My parents are not the supportive kind.  They are loving but they see things in a different way ie they don't think I should get a college degree because in their minds, women will only marry and the degree would be useless.  So when I begged them to bring me to a dermatologist they replied with a: "What for? That will go away in a few years.  Don't be so vain.  Do you know how expensive that is?"  In case you're wondering if I hated them for that, NO, they had a different upbringing.  I was upset but I still love them the same.  So getting no support from my parents I seek advice from other people.  You would not believe the advice I heard.  Some were ok but the others were disgusting.  Not everybody was helpful, more of hurtful.  This guy who was 3 years older than me told me to eat a lot of bananas.  I asked him why bananas and he replied: "have you ever seen a monkey with pimples?"  There was this one who I never even asked for advice, he offered it.  Thinking it was really an advice, I listened.  He said my pimples would disappear if I wash my face with his saliva. Disgusting right?

I've been the butt of a really cruel practical joke.  In college, this guy came up to me and told me that his friend likes me and he would like to ask me out.  Not believing him, I told him that he must have made a mistake which he denied and told me he was going to prove it then he left.  A few minutes later, someone tapped my shoulders from behind and it was the same guy.  As soon as I did an about face, I heard the guy who was supposed to like me yell: "fuck no, no way" and then I heard his buddies laughing from a short distance.  After that, I ran to the nearest rest room and cried my eyes out.  I think that was the same time, out of desperation, frustration or whatever else you call it, I scrubbed my face raw.

Because of acne, I shied away from cameras.  I would protest when my family would take pictures of me.  I just hated my face and I didn't want a remembrance.  I so hated my face that I cut out my picture from the yearbook.  The only pictures I treasured were those that were taken before the acne outbreak.

This is also why I felt so comfortable chatting.  Nobody sees me unless I show them my picture.  I just wanted to be as invisible as I can be.  

Those were difficult times and it affected who I am now.  For the first 6 years of my 20s, I had no illusions of meeting the one.  I was convinced that guys will never be interested with me.  And if for some strange reason a guy sort of become interested, I doubted his sincerity.  I was never trusting.

I am 35 now.  I don't have acne outbreaks anymore.  I get A pimple from time to time but never as worse as before.  What was left of the outbreak was the scars.  I prefer my face with the scar rather than when it was filled with acne.  I'm more mature now.  Whenever people from the street make fun of me, I just ignore them and refer to them as idiots in my head :P  Also, I've been dating the same guy for 7 years now.  I'm thankful to God that I met him.  He never made me feel ugly and he makes me happy.  So the reason I wrote about this topic is because I just wanted you to know what it's like to have severe acne.  When you make fun of them, it's not just physical scarring that they get.  They also endure the mental scarring.

My Social Life

I received 2 messages in my fb. My friend PM is inviting me to attend her son's christening on the 29th and my other friend KN is asking me if I could be a god mother to his son on August 12. To both, I answered YES! My only dilemma would be, being jobless, I won't be able to afford a good gift. I'm thinking maybe I should make my own but could not come up with any idea what it should be. This will take some time.

Spruce Up an Old Table

We used to rent tables and chairs in the 90s.  It was my mom's business.  The business did  great for a decade and when it went down, we hid all the chairs and tables in a room.  They look old and dirty now.  I decided to just play with it.

See that round monoblock table, it's 2 decades old now. Trust me, I've cleaned it and it still looks like that.

These are what we're going to use:
     used wrapping paper (or any paper you want)
     scissors or cutter or exacto knife
     homemade mod podge (mix 50% water and 50% glue)
     pencil
     foam brush

At the back of the paper, I traced the triangle shape on the table with a pencil. You can use an exacto knife to get a triangle shape quicker but I'm not really good using it. So if you're like me, trace using a pencil. Cut out 6 triangles from your paper.

I made sure the table's clean before I applied my homemade mod podge.  I find that using 100% glue dries quicker than the water+glue solution.  I couldn't find any store selling a foam brush so I used a replacement.  See the white foam in the picture?  That's the foam placed inside shoes to protect them from wrinkling.  After applying water+glue solution, place the paper and allow it to dry.

Done with 3 triangles, looking good now. I didn't want to buy new paper so I used the ones I have. This is the wrapping used from one of the gifts I got last christmas. Yeah, I'm that kind of person! 3 more triangles to go.

And then we're done.

I decided not to stick paper on all the surface. I like how it looks and so did my niece and nephew.

Other Uses for Chalk

There was a short segment in the television showing the other uses of chalk.  It was very interesting so I'm putting it here for future reference.

Personally, chalk brings me back to my childhood.  I cannot forget the many hours I had fun using it with other kids.  The freedom to do chalk art on the sidewalk, running away from the yelling neighbor for vandalizing their walls with colorful Rainbow Brite and the little girl's favorite, hopscotch.  As I have just learned, chalk can be used for many things.

AS A STAIN REMOVER

Chalk is porous which is good for absorbing stains. Just grind white chalk into a powder, rub the powder on the stain, leave it for 10 minutes then wash afterwards.

ABSORBS MOISTURE

Moisture and humidity can wreak havoc to your tools. To avoid rusting, wrap a small bundle of chalk in a cheesecloth or put a couple of chalk in a plastic bag (just don't tie the ends) and place it in your toolbox. You can also place chalk in any other damp areas in your house.

GET RIDS OF THE FUNKY SMELL

Moisture can be a breeding ground for bacteria and bacteria can bring forth some smells. Wrap a bundle of chalk in a cheesecloth and place at the bottom of your hamper. It will absorb moisture from the cloths and eliminate the funky smell.

AS A LUBRICANT

There were times when I couldn't get my key into the keyhole like it's refusing me to gain entry. Just rub chalk on your key and it will help your key slide into the keyhole. You can use oil as a lubricant but it's greasy and it can be messy. Chalk is a dry lubricant and easier to wipe off your key.

CINCH A SCREW

Just rub chalk on the head of the screw for a firmer grip or stop your screw driver from slipping.

So there you have it, the other uses of chalk.

A Tribute to the King of Comedy

Dolphy Quizon passed away last night at 8:34.  He was 83.  I have watched his movies since I was a little kid.  I still remember it.  When we were still living in Antipolo and in those time Antipolo was still part of Rizal.  I remember it all too well, Channel 9 in the afternoon where they feature the old black and white films produced by Sampaguita and LVN.  This was also a bonding time with my grandma.  She would be watching next to me and she would share small details of how it used to be.  It was a time where comedy was not laced with green jokes and his comedy was backed up with pure talent.  He was a big part of the movie industry.  My  personal favorite is Facifica Falaypay.

He was also a big part of TV comedy.  Who could forget John and Marsha?  It is because of that show that my parents decided to nickname me Maricel.  My family shared laughs watching that show.  It's very memorable to me.  It is where I first saw Brod Pete, Dely Atay-Atayan and Matutina.

People everywhere are talking about how he should be proclaimed as a national artist.  I agree, I very much do but it would have been more memorable, more meaningful to Dolphy if it was done while he was alive.

Why should I care?  I don't know.  I can't explain.  He was such a big part of my childhood memories.  Loosing him feels like I'm loosing a family member, a friend, someone special.  Now that he has moved on, I would like to say we will never forget you.  Thank you for all those years of laughter and memories.  You truly are the King of Comedy.

Diet Time for the Cat

I think I may have been overfeeding my cat.  Earlier, an acquaintance ( I secretly call him snoop because he looks like snoop dog hehe) asked if my cat was pregnant.  First of all, my cat is NOT pregnant and second of all, my cat is a HE!  I politely told him my cat is a dude and he laughed a little.  After he left, I sort of went into a flashback mode.  I kept thinking of the amount of cat food I feed him like more than 3 times a day.  Then those times wherein he'd have a hard time leaping from floor to window.  He'd have those 2 front paws on the window sill and his lower body dangling while he was struggling to get the other 2 paws in the window.  I always laugh when I see him do that.  The most alarming and also the cutest would be when he'd wake me up as early as 6 in the morning to remind me that he's hungry.

I told my bf about it and he said he's been telling me that our cat needs to diet.  So I'm thinking maybe it is time to get my cat in a diet.

DIY Air Freshener

I have been dying to try the DIY room air freshner that I read from here. One of the owner's website is named Lauren. She showed how easy it was to make it so I made my own!  Here's what we need to do:

GATHER supplies: a container / baking soda / essential oils

CLEAN and DRY your container then pour 1/4 plastic cup full of baking soda.

I have so many plastic cups that's why I used plastic rather than a glass container.

POUR a couple drops of your preferred essential oils. In my case, it was about 12 drops of eucalyptus oil.

I was sick last week and as it turns out, eucalyptus was really good for a clogged nose.

COVER with lid and there you have it your homemade air freshener.

There were days when I got tired of the eucalyptus scent so what I did was cover the hole with a sticker (you can also use a scotch tape). When I started missing the eucalyptus scent, I just peeled off the sticker. There was this one time I thought the scent was gone but it turns out you only need to shake the cup from time to time.

Lauren promised it would be the easiest thing to do and she was right!  I'm keeping this in my blog so I would never forget how to do it.  Thank you Lauren for sharing this to us.